When the movie “Frozen” came out, both of our girls were old enough that they did not seem to have a fascination for that sweet story. It might be partly a result of every other little girl in Our Town singing “Let it Go” at the top of her voice (and frequently off key), so we actually experienced the “Frozen” journey, albeit vicariously. But the message seemed to resonate with me, and since that time I’ve been practicing the art of “Letting Go.”
It’s not so easy to do that, when the “letting go” involves something or someone you do not WANT to let go . . . . but in the real world, we frequently don’t get to make those choices. When we are forced to let go of anything that holds deep meaning to us, and has a treasured place in our heart, it is really difficult. But in order to move forward, it is frequently necessary to let go of whatever is holding us hostage.
A few months ago, during a time of serious soul-searching and seeking advice from those whom I believed to be wiser that I am, I heard the words, “Just write a new story.” Just like that! Simple, right? After all, we can’t spend the rest of our lives focused on the past, revisiting old wounds, retelling the “old story,” no matter how much it hurt. Can we? Apparently not.
Grief, some say, is a passage through time, and one day, you will come out the other side. And what? Will it be as if nothing had ever happened? I think of my dear friends who recently lost their precious mom to a totally unexpected and unusual (I think) illness. She was only 63 and her husband of 40+ years and all of her children are devastated by their loss. Oh, they know that she is with Jesus and they rejoice that they will all be reunited one day, and they celebrate her life . . . . but will they ever “get over it”?
A friend of mine lost her husband to suicide a year or so ago. Isn’t it time that she should “get over it” and “write a new story”? What about those times when the “old story” becomes part of the “new story”? Hmmm . . . . . I guess it really isn’t quite that simple, then, is it? So just, exactly, how does one go about “letting go”?
Well, I’ve discovered that there are some things / people that require a conscious, determined choice to “let go.” That’s kind of different (in some ways) from recovering from the grief of losing a loved one through death.
It’s all difficult, but it seems that when we find ourselves in situations where we are holding on to something / someone who continues to wound us, to break our heart, or use, abuse, and manipulate us for selfish purposes – perhaps that’s the time when we need to step up to the threshold of this thing called “Real Life” and walk on through. And not look back.
Listen to me, as if I’m some kind of psychotherapist . . . . . I have no clue how to do this or what it all means – but I’m really weary of all the so-called experts in theology attempting to define grief for me. Because, at least for me, my story isn’t about wounds that were inflicted 20 years ago, but wounds that are still bleeding from things that happened, or words that were said . . . . oh, maybe, 20 minutes ago. So, the flippant advice to “just write a new story” doesn’t actually work in the real world.
But – I’m going to try in this new year to let go of some of the sadness and pain that I’ve been stubbornly holding on to, thinking that if I try just one more time, that I’ll get it right this time and the pain will go away. Instead, for those things / people that can be “let go,” that’s what I’m going to do! And I will write that new story, in spite of those who have no clue about pain and only pretend to be spiritual advisers – but I will no longer accept the premise that there is a time limit on grief.
In this new year, I’ve decided to be honest and open and not worry about what other people think. Shouldn’t I have figured that out a long time ago??
One of the ways that I am challenging myself to move my thoughts beyond the boundaries of my finite brain is to return to my art journal project. I had started doing art journaling several years ago, but one thing and another distracted me and I didn’t continue. But I can promise you that art journaling is very therapeutic.
So, just in case you are interested in joining me on this journey, here are a few pictures of the beginnings of my new art journal for 2016 . . . . . I’m hoping to share pictures as I go along, and I would love to see your art journal. Think about it!
In the meantime, please join us this week for the Thursday Favorite Things Blog Hop, sponsored by Katherine’s Corner. Hope to see you there and connect with you soon!
Welcome to the Thursday Favorite Things Blog Hop. We invite you to link up and share your favorite post or a post about your favorite things.
We can’t wait to see what you share!
Katherine– Katherine’s Corner || Twitter || Pinterest || Facebook || Google + || Instagram || Bloglovin’||
Nina–Vintage Mama’s Cottage || Twitter || Pinterest || Facebook || Google + || Instagram || Bloglovin’||
Debi– Surroundings by Debi || Twitter || Pinterest || Facebook || Google + || Instagram || Bloglovin’||
Jas– All That’s Jas || Twitter || Pinterest || Facebook || Google + || Instagram || Bloglovin’||
Erika– What Erika Wears || Twitter || Pinterest || Facebook || Google + || Instagram || Bloglovin’||
Betty– My Cozy Corner || Twitter || Pinterest || Facebook || Google + || Instagram || Bloglovin’||
Rina– I Thee Cook || Twitter || Pinterest || Facebook || Google + || Instagram || Bloglovin’||
Rosemary– An Italian in My Kitchen || Twitter || Pinterest || Facebook || Google + || Instagram || Bloglovin’||
Adding your link to this blog hop gives Katherine and her hostesses’ permission to share your posts and pictures via social media, on Pinterest and as features on their blogs