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Oct 16

In Other Words: “Mama, what should I do if . . . . “

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked;
for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.
Galatians 6:7

In ‘Other’ Words,
in the end we may not like what we reaped
but it’s what we sowed.
We need to start out right,
picking the correct seeds.

One of the most difficult things I have ever had to do in my life as a mother is . . . . nothing.  There comes a day in every mama’s life when she simply has to let it go. And try not to worry about it. And focus all that emotional energy into prayer and trust, instead of worry and wonder. Because no matter how diligently we strive to be planting the right seeds into our own lives, and into the lives of our children, we all come to the place in life where we make our own choices. For a mama, when her babies grow up and begin to make their own decisions, it is agonizing to watch them make choices the mama knows will only lead to heartache.

Standing by silently, knowing that when someone goes down THAT path and sows THOSE seeds, that they will eventually reap a harvest of pain and sorrow, is not only an emotional devastation, it frequently causes a mama to question her own pathway and gardening techniques. At that moment in time, many mamas would begin to take all the blame – and of course, much of what our children learn throughout life IS our responsibility. But no matter what we try to teach our children, they will eventually become individuals, making their own choices for which they alone are ultimately responsible.

This discussion always reminds me of the conversation with one of our daughters that went something like this:

“Mama, what should I do if I’m being chased by a stranger in a dark alley?”

“Well . . . . a good place to start is to stay out of dark alleys.”

Of course, there was more to the conversation, but the point is, that even when we try to plant the right seeds in our own life, and in the hearts and minds of our children, in the real world, sometimes bad stuff happens, no matter how much we try to get it right.

I suppose I could stay focused on all of the mistakes I’ve made in life, especially as a mother  (as others in my life have often thought profitable), and remind myself of all the times I failed – or planted the wrong seeds – but what good would that do?

One question remains for me . . . . I’m not sure of the correct response when I get out a packet of “daisy” seeds (or cucumber, tomato, or corn for that matter) and I plant them with great care, water and tend them for months (in my case, years and years) and as they are growing I keep noticing that the flowers (or fruit or vegetables) really don’t look very much like “daisies.” And as my “daisies” continue to grow they become entangled with prickly thorns and ravenous weeds, until I finally allow myself to admit that they weren’t ever “daisies” at all.

I thought I was planting the right seeds. The picture on the outside of the packet of seeds looked like beautiful “daisies,” so I trusted that picture and honestly believed that it was a very good thing to plant those “daisies” in my flower garden of life.

It is quite discouraging when, after working so diligently to nurture and grow a flower garden, to discover that it is filled with the weeds of deceit, pretense, and destruction. How could it have looked so good in the beginning?

So, as much as my heart knows that “whatever a man sows, that shall he also reap,” sometimes I’m afraid to plant anything at all for fear that I just might accidentally plant more weeds that come only to destroy and devour my life. Tricky sometimes, trying to do the right thing . . . . . if it was always obvious, I suppose most of us wouldn’t have much trouble doing the right thing.

BUT – that does not mean we should stop trying. So I continue daily to seek God’s guidance, sometimes not trusting my own wisdom to know if that packet of “daisy” seeds will REALLY produce “daisies,” but in the end I suppose all of that is between God and me, and He knows my heart. That’s why I am so grateful that He is a God of grace, mercy, and especially forgiveness.

If you would like to join us this week for In Other Words, please visit Karen at In Love W.I.T.H. Jesus and share a link to your blog post on this quote. Hope to see you there!

1 comment

  1. Yvonne

    I so identify with everything you wrote in this article Nina! I just had an experience with my 18 year old daughter who came of for Fall break (Thurs-Sun). I was so angry and hurt with her because she didn’t spend not one day with me. Instead, it was about her friends.

    She texts me to “tell” me she see me in the morning because it was going to be too late to drive back home! What?!!! My sweet girl seem to be another person who left to go away to college only in August. She always “asked” to spend the night out or to go here or there! I felt angry and offended with her to “tell” me what she’s going to do! Long story short, we had words and she left angry and I was angry too! I felt like cutting her off and truly I was reminded that Jesus didn’t cut me off when I need crazy things that hurt my mother too!

    I was reminded that God’s grace is sufficient for us! I have to keep praying to God regarding her present and future and those she chooses to allowing into her inner circle and heart. We were very close before going to away to college. I remember crying the entire day and part of the night because my “baby” was no longer with me and that I am now an “Empty Nestor!” I have to release her, allow her to make her own mistakes, and choices. If she make bad ones, then I need to be there to love on her, pray for and with her, and be there whenever she needs me! It’s hard to suddenly release you hold on your children and yet that’s what we prepare them to go — leave and embark on their on journey with God and discover their own purpose in Him.

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